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JOKES
WHY WOMEN TALK SO MUCH A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men.
He showed her a study that reported that men use an average of 15,000 words a day, but women use 30,000 words a day.
The wife promptly told him that women use twice as many words because they have to repeat everything they say to men.
Looking stunned, the husband said,"what?"
"Women use twice as many words because they have to repeat everything they say to men!"
How many hillbillies does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to write a song about how good the old bulb was!
THE STORKS
Once upon a time there was a family of storks: Papa stork,Mama stork, and Baby stork. One evening, Papa wasn't at dinner. Mama left food out for him, but he didn't come home all that night.
When he finally did come home the next day, Baby stork asked,"Papa, where were you all night, last night?"
Papa replied, "Out making a young couple very happy."
Several weeks later, Mama Stork was late for dinner. Papa and Baby waited for a long while, then gave up and ordered pizza. Mama Stork didn't make it home till late the next morning. When she tiredly sank into her favorite chair, Baby asked her, "Mama, where were you all last night?"
"I was out making a young couple very happy," she sighed.
Later that autumn, Baby was late for dinner. Papa and Mama were very concerned. Their anxiety increased when Baby still wasn't home by sunset. They waited up late, but he didn't arrive home until early morning.
Papa was angry. "Just where in the hell were you all night,Baby Stork?"
"Out scaring the s**t out of college students," Baby Stork giggled.